Increasing My Hunger For Him
I hadn’t felt His presence in a couple of days and I was missing Him so much. I felt so numb and lifeless. Even though I tried to get into His presence I was unable to feel anything. Today, I lay on my stomach across my bed, reading scripture and thinking about Him. I felt Him caress my hair as I saw Him sit next to me with His back against the wall. I moved into His lap, buried my head into His chest and curled my body into His arms like a child. “I missed you so much.” I sighed, soaking His love into my being. “I know.” He answered “I remove the sense of my presence so you will desire me more. It increases your hunger for me.” “It’s working.” I replied. “I am so hungry for you!”
He lifted me up off the bed and started dancing with me very gently. “Jesus you are so romantic!” I said as we glided across the floor, “Oh how I missed you.” His eyes sparkled and His gentle smile was so full of love. “You are so beautiful.” I whispered. “I love you.” I whispered again even softer, blowing my words gently into His mouth. Every part of my being was longing for Him like a desert longs for water. “Oh Jesus, kiss me!” I said, my eyes focused on His. He moved His face closer to mine like He was going to kiss me but stopped, smiled even more and continued to dance. I knew He was increasing my desire for Him even now so that I would be totally blown away when He finally kissed me. He slowly drew His lips nearer to mine, still smiling and breathed ever so slightly into my mouth, causing me to swoon and feel almost dizzy with intoxicating desire for Him. Wow, does He ever know how to heighten desire! He moved closer and softly touched my lips with His. I couldn’t take it anymore. I pressed into Him with all my desire, returning His kiss with loving abandon. He let me run my tongue along His, along the roof of His mouth and His lips but I still could not taste anything. ”Oh Jesus, I want more of you.” I whispered, “More.” I said, soaking His presence into my being as He released His fragrance into me (I could feel it but I still couldn’t smell it).
I was in such ecstasy that I began falling slowly over backwards again. I could feel one of His hands holding me gently in the back of my neck as I moved downwards and the other holding me lovingly around my lower back. He bent forward and kissed my neck very softly as I lay in His arms, totally unable to move because I was so overcome with love and desire for Him. His gentle kiss sent pleasurable vibrations and pulses throughout my body. As He continued to kiss me across the front of my neck, my head fell completely back and I felt my whole body open wide for Him in total release and surrender. He gently straightened me up and led me again into a beautiful waltz dance. I wondered at how I was even able to dance. I could feel His love moving through me but I couldn’t feel myself telling my body to move. I knew it was Him moving me because it wasn’t me. It was so pleasurable – like He had swallowed me up with His love and it was our love for each other that was moving us in the dance – a true love dance. That thought increased my desire for Him as we glided and twirled, locked together as one. It was so graceful and smooth – like we were floating above the floor.
“Thank you so much Jesus for coming to me today.” I said my eyes fixed on His beautiful face. “Thank you for dancing with me.” He responded. After a while, I pressed both my hands gently on His forearms towards the ground to stop dancing, I looked into His face with deep longing, caressing His cheek, His hair and neck with my hands. He watched me with the most beautiful smile I have ever seen, His eyes still twinkling. I knew He was being still to allow me time and space to express my love for Him. I kissed His lips lovingly with all my desire. “Oh how I love you Jesus.” I said in my mind to Him as I did so. I felt Him welcome and receive my love as He returned my kiss with a tenderness and gentleness I have never experienced on earth. I felt like I was floating in the clouds. He is so wonderful. There is no one like Him.