Touching His Face
I knelt before Him, placing my head on His lap. “I missed you so much.” I cried, tears welling up in my eyes while I tenderly caressed and kissed His hands, palms, and arms. When I looked up at Him, He kissed my forehead. “I am here.” He said sweetly. I hugged His waist and said “I love you.” He lifted me up and I curled myself in His arms. After a while I looked up into his eyes. “Please forgive me for murmuring and complaining. Please give me a thankful heart. Teach me how to rejoice in you, in your salvation.” I asked. He kissed me softly. I looked into His beautiful face while caressing His cheeks and hair and passing my fingers over His mustache, beard and lips; marveling at His beauty. I understood that not everyone gets to touch His face. “Thank you for letting me touch your face and kiss you.” I whispered. We kissed.
I turned into Him, put my arms around his neck, my legs around his waist and lay my head on His shoulders. “I love you.” I whispered in his ear, then put my head back on his shoulder, breathing in and out deeply. My soul was finally at peace; enjoying His presence. I slid down to kiss and caress His hands and feet. His legs glowed like burning brass. I gently lifted his calf to bring it to my lips, marveling that my lips did not burn. Soft kisses on the nail marks in His feet reminded me of the excruciating pain He endured. “Thank you for everything you’ve done for me. Someday I know you will take me through the passion of your crucifixion when my heart is stronger. I feel so weak. I can’t stomach watching the movies because I cry so much. I feel your pain and my heart hurts. I can’t bear to watch it.” I said.
I sat up on my knees. My back had been facing Him while caressing His calves. He softly caressed my head and hair. “Oh that feels so good.” I said turning around to look up into His face. He tenderly kissed my forehead and caressed my head. “Oh that feels so good. Please kiss me again.” I asked. ”I love it when you kiss my forehead.” He kissed me again. “Please help me to crucify my flesh. I want to be your little martyr. I want to follow you everywhere you go.” I sighed.
The next thing I knew I saw angels around my bed encircling me: 2 on the right, 2 on the left and 1 at each end. They and my bed glowed in a soft golden color. I felt so comfortable, like we were around a fireplace and I was the fire in the center. I could tell in my spirit we were talking but I couldn’t hear most of what was being said. “Forgive me for being so weak and offending you with things I have said, thought and done.” I said. “Thank you for everything you’ve done for me, for helping me. Please help me get ready for my bridegroom. I love Him so much. I want to make love to Him. I am head over heels in love with Him. Please help me to be holy. I want to be pure and holy for Him.” It was so warm and cozy, like being with friends around a fireplace. “I want us to be friends. What are your names?” I asked. They told me but I couldn’t hear clearly in my soul. I got some ideas in my mind as they said their names: Julius/jewels, dawn, sunlight, rose garden, blue, green.
I turned my head to look for Jesus. He came into the group, in the middle of the two angels on my left, putting His arms around their shoulders and beaming with a huge smile. He looked down at me seeing I felt awkward and sat down beside me. I lay my head on His chest and He put His arms around me and we both leaned back in my bed comfortably. The angels disappeared. It felt like when I was a little child and the parents turned off the lights before I went to sleep in bed. ‘Thank you for being here with me.” I said. “I’m always here.” He replied with the sweetest smile. We kissed. I beamed with the hugest smile ever. “That’s it! That’s rejoicing in me!” He declared. ”I can’t help it. You’re so wonderful. Joy is welling up from my heart. My greatest joy is spending time with you. I don’t want it to end.” I sighed. “It doesn’t have to end.” He answered. “I’m always here. We can be together and spend time together anytime. I’m always here in your heart. Trust in my love for you.”
He pulled me up and took me ice skating with Him on a frozen pond surrounded by a beautiful winter scene. I was awed by His expert skating and the perfection and mastery of all His movements. He is the most beautiful sight to behold – such splendor and glory in everything He is and does. Later we walked through the snow in the hills passing ice trees. White furry animals ran towards us, jumping and playing in the snow. It was so peaceful. My heart was so still, enjoying His presence like a soft warm blanket covering me.
Later, I read Revelation 21:6: “And he said unto me, It is done. I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give unto him that is athirst of the fountain of the water of life freely.” “He is the Alpha male!” I thought to myself. He stood in front of me in red and purple robes. We kissed. “I will give you freely of myself. I will satisfy you my love. I will satisfy you with my love.” He said sweetly. I understood the fountain is Him. I lay my head on His chest. He touched my heart sending waves of pleasure through me. Then He gently wrapped his hand around it and massaged softly, sending me into deeper ecstasy. I looked into His smiling face. He enjoyed watching my movements as He moved my heart. My pleasure gave Him pleasure. I took His hand and brought it to my lips kissing His palm tenderly. We kissed again. He moved His hand back on my heart as we continued to kiss. Waves of pleasure filled me through His lips and fingers.
“He is the fountain of life. He is the gate, the narrow way to the Father’s heart.” I thought to myself. Our arms were relaxed at our sides. My heart was open and naked before Him. I squeezed his hands. He bent down and wrapped His mouth around my heart. More waves of ecstasy moved over me as I felt His mouth, His tongue and His kiss on my heart. It felt like a mother cleaning her pups. He bent me over His arm and put His lips on mine. His mouth was full of water. I drank. I could hear the crystal waters in my ears singing with joy as they entered my mouth. We kissed. Pleasure filled me. I realized why we like massages so much. Jesus wants to touch us in this way, giving us pleasure with His caresses. We stood on a hill in front of an ocean. Wind blew in our hair. We looked at each other. Our arms were relaxed in a downward position and we held hands. I breathed in deeply while the wind moved all around us. “There’s nothing I’d rather be doing than standing here with you.” I said. “I know.” He replied. “That’s why you’re here, with me.” He answered. We kissed. “I know that you want me and not anything else. For you have given up everything to find me and you shall be richly rewarded with my presence – with me, here, ever present with you, forever. Awake my bride. Awaken your love for me. Awaken your passion and your zeal for me. I call it into being. I call it to ignite and burn in torrents of love. Come my love. Come into the arms of your beloved; into the arms of the one who loves you.” I saw myself ignite on fire with passion for Him. He lit up too. The two fires became one as we kissed. Then the fire disappeared. He turned us to look at the sea, then took my hand and flew us into the horizon above the waters.